oh god the rape fog is back!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we're making bets on your personal life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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