So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
