Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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