North Korea, Best Korea!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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