What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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