Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
