what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize