two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
