I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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