Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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