I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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