shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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