do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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