Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He did a backflip because drugs
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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