respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
