Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
