she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
