what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
