Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
