My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
