I'm gonna have a badass scar
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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