i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
