first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
