And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
