You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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