i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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