i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and she was petting her beer can
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
