I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
