Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
