it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
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We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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