Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
wrigley field is MILF paradise
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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