well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
we're so committed to being not committed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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