Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
