dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
