And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
as a side note pls kill me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
