I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
