Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
