Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
