we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
