Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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