you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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