Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just blew my weed a kiss
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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