Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
