so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
