ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Farmville is her only friend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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