you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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