Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
