I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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