On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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