This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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