My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize