it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
