Can i not drive my cunt home
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
