You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found puke in my bra..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
