It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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