Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
