You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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