Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
