Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
