hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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