Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
