Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
