whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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