Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
