Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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