nut hugger
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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