All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
