just come out here and I will go home with you...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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