Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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